How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

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what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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knock knock whos their a person

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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how do you finish a 30000 piece puzzle you search for cheat codes

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Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

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Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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