Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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A muslim walks through a medal detector before the entrance of the airport terminal. The alarm goes off and he is arrested by TSA officials, they open his jacket and find 30lbs of high explosives.

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

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A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

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Nuneaton..

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

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why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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