how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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My dad

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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the story below is a truee story...unfortunately!!!!!!!!! :'(

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

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What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

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A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

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look this kid up on facebook and spam him!! its funny, Josh Noonan, also his cell number is 603 560 3399....

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

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what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops