Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

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3 like an eel

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What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? Ouch!

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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But who would want to sell us out and why?

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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which one does not belong light bulb i have read an agree to the terms of service view terms of service submit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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