Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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haha look at that guys shirt! what's wrong with it? i don't know.. nothing i guess

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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SOY COMO SOY Y ME ENCANTA SI NO ME VALORAS ESE ES TU PEDO

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Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

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What did the mexican fireman call his twin sons? nothing. they were stillborn

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If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

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A dirty joke Three white horse's are walking down a trail one falls in the mud

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What do you call an unfunny comment that demeans a group of people? Bigotry

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A Sloth runs...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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