Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Knock, knock. Door opened.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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