Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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Whats the answer to life? im not sure

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Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

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What do black people and white people have in common? They are both mentioned in this box

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

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Y u do dis?

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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Wolfjob.

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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