Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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