What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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what did the fart say to the butt........bye

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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poopy is poopy

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8

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hey, my names mark.

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ?... because he was dead

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An Italian leaves the mofia

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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