What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

anti-joke.ru - russian style

thumb_up thumb_down -10

HEY YOU! TISSUE!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The NBA and womens sports

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

YES! EXACTLY!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops