Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Knock Knock" "whos there" "interupting cow" "interupting cow who" "i have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I was gonna smack jakes titties...but michael was already doing it....:/

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Dislike this.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Cool Brian

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A plane is going to land at 3:30, if the monkey is holding a gun how does the bus driver commite suicide 12, because the laywer attacked the dyslexic man.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than Shaq's free throw percentage? The free throw percentages of Reggie Evans, Bo Outlaw, Andris Biedrins, Wilt Chamberlain, Chris Dudley and Ben Wallace.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops