Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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