Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops