Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

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Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you...

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

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Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

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Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

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-Ask me if I'm a tree. +Are you a tree? -Yes. -Ask me if I'm an orange. +Are you an orange? -No, I'm a tree, were you listening me?

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Very few things are worse than this international tragedy Over six million people died, most of them tortured before they died. But stepping on a thumb tack is way up there

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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