You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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eat a hot dog

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Friends

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Walnut

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Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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(Insert joke here)

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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