How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

A young child drops his ice cream and began to cry. Why are you crying asks his mother Because I dropped my ice cream said the child

What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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