What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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You: Hey, I have a good knock knock joke, here, you start! -and if all goes well...- Them: Knock knock! You:Who's there? Them: Uhh...

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PSN IS UP

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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fava beans

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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What do you call a Jew A Jew

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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