You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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who's a slut... you're mom

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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A kid has no friends.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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