What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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Why did the boy take the girls backpack? he has this many hands

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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What is the difference between a bike and a baby? There are a lot of differences

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Yo mama is so stuPid that she blew a man for bus money then walked home

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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