Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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fava beans

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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You: Hey, I have a good knock knock joke, here, you start! -and if all goes well...- Them: Knock knock! You:Who's there? Them: Uhh...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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