A train poops its pants.

Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

Why did the little boy fall down? Be he had the downs.

3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

What comes after 69? mouthwash

Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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