how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

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What's the best type of silence in a family? None, all families should be open in communication.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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The Christian prayed every night to God for a new bike. He kept it up for a year. Finally, he got a bike for his birthday.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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roses are red vilots are blue in soviot russa poem read you.

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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