At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

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Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Continents are large islands.

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Mogok Papiti.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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