Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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The Moon Landing.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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David Cameron

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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