Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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