How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

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why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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