A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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gay pom...

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Multi Orgasmic Pillow screechers

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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Knock, knock -The door's open.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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