- Anti Joke

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

DO NOT CONTACT THE ONES THAT LEFT! I REPEAT DO NOT CONTACT THE NEWCOMERS THAT LEFT! Nero7 was not the only one that became suspicious when we suddenly found thousands upon thousands of new potential members more than willing to join us, many of not most of them, before even learning any essential details about our purpose! While many morons and idiots assumed that Neronism was becoming popular, we all fucking know that we have done everything to keep this all hidden! And then suddenly everything from wealthy people to politicians arrive? No way! Nero7 is with us, and while we have thanks to the hidden camera`s he insisted we install about everywhere except under the goddamn toilet bowls, we have concluded that these people all have similar racial traits, and all speak the same language. Nero7 is barely conscious due to fever, but he keeps pointing at the screen and shouting Russian Spetznas! If this is true, (and to us it sounds Russian and they are obviously very coordinated and no simple grunts) Then we are all screwed... I mean from Nero7`s feverish ramblings and and his database, we can only assume that this is some sort of rogue sub department, of a smaller force than we first assumed, but these guys consist first and foremost of specialized soldiers and hackers... We are scrambling for ideas, exit strategies, while doing our best to get Nero7 out of here, he suggests we question the mercenary that assaulted him which is in prison. I fear we might have to break our ethics and code of honor among many things here, but getting that mercenary out and... Somehow getting answers from him, might be our last hope. Listen "Eliza" if any of you got any Intel at your position, let us know, we are well hidden considering these men that have taken over most of what we can at this point say Was the order, at least the one we knew... Listen, if you got any Intel from your position, let us know, and damn it if these bastards begin killing people, any of you for that matter... ...At this rate the order will end up exposed, and remembered as some terrorist mindwashing religious cult... If you have anything, even ideas, share them with us, damn... All these years with efforts, creating a system of our own... Never hurting a damn fly, it seems like it is all going to end with most of our members getting recruited by a handful of specialized Russians or killed...

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

What do you do when you do what the do is the do for the do to do what you're doing that's done for what she did if you didn't do what not to do? ^error

Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

Nickelback

What happened to the convict on death row? He died

What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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