Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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A man is riding down the road on his horse, Sally. He happens to see a horse without a rider, but with two saddles. He finds this peculiar, continues into town, and has a fine day.

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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