Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

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My mum is called Steve

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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belly button

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AND THE GAME BEGINS ANEW!

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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what happened to the man who got stuck in a car after a crash? the ambulance failed to arrive and he died a slow, trajic death.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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