A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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Intel Core Computers answer robot flavored phones at middle of june CC

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What is your view on school violence? I'm all for it.

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

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sorry got to poo

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I hope the Angels win the pennant No pun intended

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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