what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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Once upon a time, people died. It was happening all over the land. They didn't LIVE happily ever after... since they died. The end... for them.

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What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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The Morman Religion.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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Did u know that 10/10 people die?

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hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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