Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

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A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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SBB

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What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

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An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

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What do Ash Ketchum and Peter Francis Geraci have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

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whats dumb and small? dandruff

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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Why didn't the blonde finish her book? She died.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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