9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

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chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

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Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

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A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

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In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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