Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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drugs.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Once upon a time

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops