So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

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What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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whats it called when you see a ton of white people running down a hill.... an avalanch whats it called when you see a ton of black people running down a hill.....a mud slide whats it called when you see a ton of mexicans running down a hill............ a jail break

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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thomas!!!!

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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