teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

thumb_up thumb_down -70

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +47

People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem. _._._

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

thumb_up thumb_down +39

did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops