What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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How many fingers do most people have? 10

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why am I who i am, and you are who you are? dick spice

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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My children are mistakes

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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What is the difference between a white gut and a black guy? The level of melanin in their skin.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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what do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? -a seagull

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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New mission: refuse this mission

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My mom

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A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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