A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Who's There? A rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man goes to the potty.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops