What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

Knock, Knock. Come in!

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

404: Anti-joke not found.

what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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