A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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What's beauitful and disgusting at the same time? Menstration. Jk it's just disgusting.

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops