Q: How do you scream at a purple? A: Black people

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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What's wrong with a muslim flying a plane? Nothing you racist

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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