They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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My real life is like my iPad I don't have an iPad.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A second Holocaust. What's worse than a second Holocaust? Being raped by Santa Claus. What's worse than that? NOTHING.

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You will NEVER guess what just happened!

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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A piece of shit gets flushed down the toilet. The end.

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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