Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

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Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

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Roses are red.

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KOOKABURRA

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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Jane asked her husband why he was crying, he replied "Because i have extremely agressive cancer" hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....Cancer

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What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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What s the difference between a pigeon ?

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a jerk that i knew was in a bar. he was about to drive home. at first i tried to stop him until he was sober. instead he punched me in the face. then i dared him to drive home as fast as possible. he died that night... i texted him all the way...

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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