What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

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Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

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What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

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A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops