Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

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watch a i d s left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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