Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

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Women's professional sports

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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like this if you think what ever you want to..

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What does water smell like? water.

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Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

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who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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Why did the priest fall onto the alter boy? Because he lost his balance

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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