- Anti Joke

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

Asians

Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

What's funnier then a dead baby. Two dead babies.

What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.