What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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why did the mokey fall out of the tree because it was dead.

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A blonde walks into a drycleaning store 2 pick up her clothes and as she walks out the empoyee says cum again and the blonde says shut up it was toothpast this time!!!!

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How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

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What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

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I'd like to make a withdraw

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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