How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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White men's rights

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Why do black people have a bad reputation? Because they do bad things.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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Actually, Red Bull helps temporarily restore wakefulness when experiencing fatique or drowsiness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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