A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

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This is a joke. Laugh!

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

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whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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Fart

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jhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

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Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops