Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What? Why?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops